Hi silent readers.
As you all know my self declare crisis... its still ongoing only thing is its getting better.
I've been through a lot. Asking herr and there. What i got was, people who are not borned with silver spoon and silk cloth, have to postpose their dreams before they try to catch them again.
As for me. My dream only allowed me to grab them while i am still young. Age matters for my dream and i am very sad and hurt to say at least. I cant reach them. I watched them slipped away. I cried and i could not and cannot do anything.
I'm embracing the truth bits by bits. The reality. The pain. I know i am always those dramitic type. Making a big fuss over something. But that's me. That' s what the topic today is about.
There is thi voice inside of me telling me to try. Ty and catch my dream. But who am i kidding with. That dream is so far away and without any support i can't reach it.
It is getting farer now. I can barely see it now. Some people just do not understand the pain and they kept on saying things that hurt and pained you like bitch. Life is hard. But it is too hard for me. I can barely breathe. Kept stuck inside a room with four walls. Cant get out and fly. I wanted someone to tell me :-
"it is okay to try, come back home when you fall, i will help you stand again."
No one seems to really know me.
I'm scared of being forgotten and abondened.
I cannot be alone.
He is lack of love, they said.
He is stupid, they said.
He is so insecure, they said.
I am wondering about those too. What have i done to deserve such life with so many thoughts while my driends live and stay carefree, of course some trouble here and there but nothing like mine.
I am babbling again. Well that's why i'm here anyway. Friends and families read my blog. I know but they just kept as quiet as an empty room. Even empty room gives echo.
I'm really hoping someone would be there everytime i fall. Someone who could be there to support me. I told them this.
They told me i think too much. All you need is either a boyfriend or girlfriend.
But they dont do that. They might be there but they cant always stand you unles they really do care about you like they care for themselves.
I am not desperate. I vow to walk alone. I just need support. I believe in hope.
Though a sinner like me should never really hope much.
I tried hope and hope high and huge. I ended up falling so hard that i dont even dare to tell anyone. And here i am again hoping high and huge. Soaring through the sky with just one little dream. I can see myself falling though. I just hope i land safely.
Crossed my life mysteriously.
I just hope that everything will turn out fine.
I just hope that i get to find a job after this.
I just hope i get to be normal.
I just hope i can get a peaceful life.
I just hope that i will be fine soon.
Thabks for reading this. Its like reading this with me and being here for me spiritually.
Drop me some comment if u want too. A smiley will do. :)
I'm signing off. See you soon.